How to be a human “being”

“Joining with the body… feeling what’s actually happening inside you… just experiencing now as it is in your body, is a courageous and profoundly radical choice, ” Nancy Colier LCSW, Rev., Psychology Today.

I can’t sit still. At all.

Nail technicians don’t like me very much. I don’t want a design, use language more colorful than the options for gel-polish, and have a serious issue sitting still. The managers can smell my discomfort with relaxation, even through the acetone. Which is why they look at me sideways I turn down the offer for a p.m.-pinot.

The 3 lb meatloaf-mind of mine, is a bit like that of a dragonfly — come to think of it — on par in speed, unpredictability, and whimsy. Both mind, and body, are in a constant war to be better than before. Not that it’s a bad thing — to be ready for battle — there has to come a point where we allow ourselves to retreat and be.

In an effort to not piss off my technician, this afternoon, an article subtitled “From human doing to human being,” grabbed my attention. We’re introduced by what we do, not who we are. Our value is placed on how much we make, or how many follow. Somewhere in the mix, we stopped being entirely.

Humans haven’t gotten this far by entrapping themselves on a comparative hamster wheel of flashing funds, or quick fixes. Humans have evolved by being.

Being present, within themselves, serving one another, engaging in stories and evolutions. That’s what it meant to be a human being. Something tells us that if we stop going — at all — the wheel will implode along with our opportunity to be enough.

What if… I told you that the brain is wired just like your house. Paths, that hold certain responsibilities, with synapses that serve the purpose of electrochemical pulse that reverberate throughout the mind and body. Causing the associated neurotransmitters to be released, and the given response to be elicited.

That meatloaf in your head fires in patterns it’s been trained to understand. The brain receives a stimulus, the stimulus elicits a reaction, the reaction elicits a response. You are the one in control of these pathways and the way in which your body responds to them.

If you’re finding difficulty being still — as my lovely nail lady do gently pointed out — train it just like you would anything else. Mindfulness is a fitness weakness many of us have — and refuse to work it in. Personally, I think a well rounded brain is sexier than abs, and a tight ass.

It’s a powerful piece of machinery, that deserves rest, and recovery, as much as every other entity in the body.

When you find your brain inching back for another hit of the hamster wheel:

  1. Recognize the thought and bring it in. All thoughts are, are little rubber duckies (each with their own unique appearance) you put on a river bed. They can float by — hell you can even throw em away. They’re yours to do with what you wish. Either way — it’s just a ducky.
  2. What does this ducky have to offer you? Is there something that serves you along the next chapter? Or is that ducky carrying a load that’s baring its buoyancy.
  3. Take what ya want/need, leave what you don’t
  4. Move forward with more love than before.

Thanks to my sicilian heritage, this very patient technician was finishing the second attempt at top coat when she said, “As long as you do it with love, you will never be wrong.” That’s all we’re trying to do — any of us are trying to do.

Begin with your brain. Nourish, and nurture that 3 lb meat loaf in your noggin. Remember that up until now — you’ve only had 10% access to a mechanism capable of so much more. Treat every thought with openness, love and optimism — even when it seems impossible — it is.

The WE that built THE OTHER 23

It’s been over a month since my last real blog. Whether it was self-judgement, time management or personal conflicts in the way… there’s no excuse for letting something that means this much fall to the wayside.

In the last three months or so, everything has changed. The way I look at life, coach, train and think, has completely evolved.

I graduated college — fiiinallyyy — while simultaneously laying the brick and mortar — one at a time — to the foundation of an empire, to officially leaving personal training and embarking on the adventure of a lifetime. It’s been a bit of whirlwind here at our casa.

We had decided it was time to put pedal to the metal, and see just how real these dreams could be. Moreover, so that I could practice what I preached, and actually be there for all of my nuggets during The Other 23 hours of the day rather than just their 1 hour session in the gym.

The other 23 hours that I talked about incessantly between reps with every human that crossed my gym floor.

“Fck the scale… how would you feel? It’s not about the workout. This is just the microcosm… the dress rehearsal,” I would say to my flient who’s cheeks were flushed, and tank top saturated in sweat. “Everything that happens once you leave those doors, matters and has an impact on what happens in here, and vise versa.”

Think about it. You walk into the gym, and you have your workout.

“I don’t wanna…” you think to yourself, but you do it anyway. You settle into the warm up, and suddenly a little bit of stimulus sparks a reaction.

“Ow — okay that burns a bit… well can’t go home now.”

Then the workout. You have any given number of sets/reps, and the load is going to increase. On each rep, the stimulus gets more intense, and you have a choice.

Embrace the discomfort to see how far you can go, or rack the weight and quit the set. The choice is entirely yours to make. I’d say go dark. It’s not like that burn is going anywhere so you might as well embrace it and see what it has to offer you.

You keep doing this — one rep at a time — and eventually you’re done. You’ve discovered something about yourself, maybe you’ve hit a PR, but regardless of the external variables, you accomplished the tasks at hand — and with precision.

Life isn’t any different. It’s how you handle the reps that are in front of you that dictate your performance. The more down you are with discomfort, the more you will discover.

It was moments like this — the #BIGTALK — that made me get out of bed in the morning. We knew that it was going to be more than a workout. We were both there to learn, grow and simply be present with one another.

We’d exchange stories — past / present and future — about what lead us to this point, or where we see ourselves going. It was never ‘I’ the coach and ‘them’ the client(s).

It was always ‘we.’ From minute one, I knew it was my job as the coach, to cultivate an impenetrable community. You — as the client — need to know that no matter what you have someone there to love you. To support you throughout this process, and more importantly, to remind you that you’re not alone.

Every ‘flient’ from the very beginning until now, has had a hand in shaping the human I am becoming. Every conversation, life talk or challenge, brought us closer, and tore down another barrier.

Only to reveal that we are both just, human. Seeking out evolution in any way we can, and test the limitlessness of our own potential.

There was no question that personal training had my heart, but I knew there was more.

More that I could offer to current clients, and thousands of other incredible humans I had yet to meet. More opportunities to share this message of vulnerability, authenticity — and moreover — humanity.

Coaching is what makes me, me. Being there for each individual throughout every step of the process, watching the light bulbs turn on session after session, that’s what makes me get out of bed in the morning.

Now, I could be the coach I always wanted to be by combining all of the variables required to build an unbreakable human. Fitness, nutrition, lifestyle, and mindset, in a recipe balanced for each individual.

I saw an opportunity to hit this industry square in the “eggplant,” and show the world of health/fitness everything its missing. Genuine human connection, love, reality, and good old fashion science, and dedication.

Becoming an online coach was never about me. It has — and always will be — about the We, that we’ve built, through blood, sweat, and tears. Late nights and lots and lots of self doubt. Missed family vacations, holidays and birthdays. Through unconditional love, relentlessness, and we took coaching and centered it around the belief that every human deserves to have a person — the one we all wish we had when things were at their worst.

Our family, is a Mafia. Once you’re in, you’re in for life, and no matter where you go, we will be there for you no holds barred, and 100 percent judgement free.

This new adventure has given me the super human ability to be available to anyone, anywhere, and help them discover their truest potential — not just for that one personal training-hour in the gym — but for The Other 23.

It has opened up the possibilities to truly impact, and transform, every human being from the inside out. Allowing them to be in full reigns of the process — with me in their back pocket.

This Mafia — has evolved from a handful of us in a local gym, to nearly 40,000 humans who believe that there has got to be more to life than what you see in the mirror. I’m here to tell you, you’re absolutely right, you’re not alone, and you are worth the evolution you’re after.